Excitement and fear...working on the first assignment and beyond

Two of the best pieces of advice were given to me by my Tutor - the better the preparation the better the act of writing and the discipline of writing every day, a set number of words, becomes natural and doesn't allow drift or apprehension.

So having applied these gems I am both excited and scared to death. The first two chapters of my extended piece of writing are written; not edited to any great length or polished - but they are there on the page and they don't meander in the way I feared. My protagonist is clearer in my mind and I can "see" his reactions, annoyances and frustrations with adults and the adult world he finds himself in. The landscape is opening up and the other characters seem to come more and more into focus the more I type.

What is scary is I have two chapters down! What is exciting is I HAVE TWO CHAPTERS DOWN ON THE PAGE!

I have bought Jane Riddell's - A Fiction Writer's Guide to Serious Editing - poised for when I have to bear down on it and grapple.

More than ever during my degree I feel like I am capable of creating a long piece of writing and I want to go the distance; not just for the degree and the course but for the book itself. I want to tell the story in my head, in my notebook and on the post-its stuck to my office wall. I even have a map for where the main event occurs!

It is amazing how advice from your Tutor, the constant, enthusiastic reply to any question, fear, observation, that you throw at her can act as both cliff to jump from, net to catch you when you are twisting in the air and bungee rope for the upswing excite scream.

This is allowing me to dare to dream....

First Assignment Work, Great Advice and the pleasure of discipline

So here I am. Somewhere I never thought I would be...ever. The final course for my BA in Creative Writing with the OCA. I have to believe that I am now at this point because it is a fact but I still have to pinch myself.

With each course I have the same emotions; a sense of fear of failing or not working hard enough and then there's the excitement of exploring the subject matter and discipline. This time, with this course, the excitement is magnified. I simply couldn't wait to negotiate my project with Nina Milton, my Tutor.

For this course my objective is to write and extended piece of writing towards a novel for Young Adults (YA) 10-14 years of age. This will be a natural progression from the Writing for Children Course that I've just been completed but awaits assessment (May 2014).

Nina set out what she expects for the first assignment -

• plot outline - in any format and as long as you chose.

• a protagonist character sketch; this often raises issues and clarifies your writing position

• some of the writing; 1st chapter preferably, but not essential. 

All this should not exceed 3,500 words 

+ 500 words Reflective Commentary as always.

My A4 notebook was full of post-its with names, questions, observations and descriptions and I began to make lists and then sketched out a map of where the main action will take place.

Then Nina put a post in her blog which is gold dust ( http://kitchentablewriters.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/writing-that-very-first-draft.html#comment-form ). I took the advice and applied it to the plotting. I turned over a few pages in my notebook and set myself an minimum of an hour plotting each night with at least three points per night. Headphones on and I began to write...or should that be plot?

It is wonderful when advice takes hold and works - after five days I am at point number thirty two and have begun to put together tracts of dialogue as it fits in with the plotting. I have never done so much plotting in such a short space of time - previous courses have been at most for short stories, so this project course is a foray into uncharted waters and a wonderful adventure.

This is an amazing opportunity to stretch into unknown territory, to really stretch and use the skills learned on each of the courses with the OCA and with the help of all the Tutors. Part of me wants to look back at how far I have come in the degree but the excitement won't let me - I just have to keep my head down, keep going and work hard towards my objective.

Advanced Writing 3 - Contemplation, Hesitation and the beginning of the Final Push...

The Christmas celebrations are over (in our household the decorations are down and packed away already) and the New Year is here. 

It is time to look back on 2013 and wonder and plan the next - so here I am. 

It's the usual regrets and sadness, having lost a friend last year and learned more about her after her passing than I did in the last few years of her life. The joy of an addition to our family with the arrival of Ryan my nephew and much more, including good health and continued love within and outside our family. Above all I feel getting through the last course was my overriding achievement - now I just have a few months before my submission for assessment.

So ahead I face some hefty (at least to us) redecoration projects in our small house and upheavals in our working lives...but above all I begin my final and most important course - Advanced Writing 3: Project.

The folder arrived and I was shocked at seeing how little was enclosed. This is the course that you have to "stand on your feet" with a longer, more sustained piece of writing. This is all done with the help and guidance of your Tutor and I am very lucky to have convinced both the OCA and my previous Tutor, Nina Milton, to continue working with me. 

After assembling the folder for submission for the Writing for Children Course and drawing a line under that course, I wanted to rest and re-charge the batteries. I decided to read and not actively write - or at least to contemplate any one direction for anything other than the project and then only to think about the latter furtively and keep it peripheral in my mind.


Trouble is that my brain and seemingly fate doesn't allow rest when there are ideas to be scooped up. I now have a small sheaf of notes, images, names and ideas gathering at the front of a notebook which has somehow become designated for the course. It seems that conversations, programmes on television (granted they are selected by me and so may be  sought out unconsciously) and random webpages seem to be conspiring to push a narrative onto me.

It is one month before the contract between me and Nina Milton will be negotiated but my imagination and what is falling in my path is not waiting. 

After putting into practice the discipline of plotting in the last course, I came across a webpage where Ray Bradbury advocates list making; I have always done this to plan a  birthdays, decorating or project plans. This now appeals as a precursor to the actual full on detailed plotting; so I am making this my first active writing foray, pre-course, of 2014. 

I am feeling the same as I have felt at the beginning of this course as I have for all the others - hesitation and a little fear. Despite all the experience and help, I still feel apprehension - but there is nothing to do but forge ahead on the final push!

Sixth Assignment

Okay so I am here - just over a year has passed since I opened the coursebook.

The Fifth Assignment is back with the good advice, observations and recommendations from Nina Milton and has been put aside to work on later.

I started the Creative Reading Commentary and decided to write only about Skellig by David Almond. It was the book that stopped me from giving up, made me think I could write a little and that I really wanted to explore writing for children. I think it's a wonderful book, full of the mundane family life, the danger of death hanging over a new born child and the finding of a man-angel-bird collapsed and wasting away in a derelict garage. The magical realism gripped me from the very first page - a real hook into any reader.

The struggle with this part of the assignment was breaking down my assignments and relating them back to Skellig. My objective was to echo the magical realism without making it appear like copying. I think I have achieved this by keeping the idea of it in the back of my mind while working through each exercise and assignment. The first draft is written and now has been put aside; it's sitting brooding on my desk and as always at this stage I wonder if it's anywhere good enough.

Two nights ago I started the Reflective Course Commentary. This I approached in a similar way - breaking each experience into the sixth assignments, detailing how each part of the course affected me, stretched me and looking through this blog and my notes to see the repeated observations and notes.

It comes down to one thing. Aside from the ideas (of which there are many, mostly half written on post-its in my note books) the recurring point is the plotting - being told by Nina Milton in a non judgmental way that I am a characterphile and therefore I need to concentrate on plotting as this was my weakness (my words) and would focus my mind and process.

I feel I have achieved what I set out to do - I have stretched again but more than this I feel empowered to think about writing a longer piece of writing for YA. The plotting has allowed me to focus and build the confidence to write and dream.

So now I wait, just a few days, allowing the two essays to languish and drift. When I am ready I will look over them again with fresh eyes and then re-draft them both.

A year has gone so quickly. I have learned to strengthen more of my muscles. Gained more weapons in the pursuit of the discipline of the writing habit.

Fifth Assignment - Awesome

The Fifth Chapter of the Writing for Children Course was about fantasy worlds, examining the ordinary and making it extraordinary and menace; or creating a tangible sense of dread.

One exercise was about collecting and creating names - I have always collected names and working with legal documents of some age and quality of quirkiness I have always been gifted with some of the most outrageous names. I have notebooks full of names, half names, some with question marks showing that I appreciated them but wasn't quite sure what I could use them for, while others have definite comments; like "village idiot", "dangerous man" etc).

The others exercises were about examining an ordinary object say a chair and creating an extraordinary story/happening with that object and creating dread/menace.

The fifth assignment is split into two - 1,500 words each and to be targeted at separate age groups. The latter didn't bother me. I targeted the first story, The Sycamore Chair at girls 7+ and the second, Keeper at boys 10+.

Gathering ideas was easy for the first - mainly from an exercise in the chapter and a property programme with a quirky cottage which fitted the setting I wanted to create. The details flowed into my mind as my character, May, explored. My tutor uses the term Characterphile (meaning that your imagination or writing is driven mainly by the character in your head rather than the plotting) and I love it. Once someone tells you where you lean, where the strengths are, you can look to your weaknesses and adjust to compensate. I need and will always need to plot - once I do this - thinking through each step of the story - my character seems to have more concentration on the adventure - I faff less.

Gathering for the second story was more difficult and the thoughts of menace kept bringing to mind a local legend about full moons and barrows and the sound of dancing faeries. This story took more time. Worse than that, after the first draft I felt that the character of the title, Keeper, wasn't complete; he didn't feel real to me or I wasn't being given enough room to create his back story. I stalled. I didn't want to work on it; so I returned to the first story and worked hard on that.

Sometimes the hardest decision I have is recognizing when to ask for help. This was one of those times and I took my resistance almost all the way to my deadline. Once the reply was received from Nina Milton, my Tutor, a huge weight was lifted. Her advice was to treat the second story as a "first chapter".

THAT was it! Suddenly I could see how the Reverend Clement who constantly goes around his church looking for a way into the realm in which Keeper is a prisoner, is a victim of madness; how all the Vicars for this parish end up being slightly odd due to the sounds of the partying and mischievous faeries and the fact that Keeper was former incumbent's "house boggart". Since he went missing each of the vicars has thought the house was missing something, not really understanding what, and they become increasingly odd in the way they act.

How Keeper got there, why he helps Alan escape after falling into the barrow and why he will never be allowed to leave came in a flash - all because I could tell that later - this was a first chapter.

I worked on a third and fourth draft and thought it was time for my partner to read it.

The response I got shocked me. Very positive - so much so that the character of Keeper was vivid, sympathetic and endearing. I didn't know what to say - literally stunned to silence. My response was "Really!?"

Of course I worked on the stories again and worked through them with the reader always in mind - enjoying the reading out phase again which always highlights fuzziness.

This has been rewarding, but I think Nina Milton and her advice regarding "treating it as first chapter" was awesome to my process. It freed me up to relax and not try and tell the entire story, landscape etc in one go. More than that it put into my head that there was a second, third and fourth chapter just waiting and that plotting was the key to achieving this.

Awesome!

Implied reader

The Children's Writers' & Artists' Yearbook 2013 has great articles in it. I am working my way through them, in no particular order, but they are all useful and insightful; a must for any aspiring writer.

Page 87 - Who do children's authors write for by Michael Rosen  has made a block fall fully into place at just the right time.

We all write with a reader in mind but maybe not fully in mind as it were and this maybe one thing more I have to cultivate and learn in a more conscious way. With this course I am writing for a specific "section" in mind and they are distinct from other areas of society - despite the fact that they come with all sorts of ideas, dreams and interests all affected by age group etc. This is something that I have come to terms with and I am enjoying; the cut and thrust of tailoring a piece for boys or girls of a certain age group etc.

With my latest assignment I found myself writing a story about a girl. She is an adventurous, fearless type who takes the opportunity to explore the forbidden and finds herself embroiled in a magical and dangerous experience; which she suspects her Grandmother, if not fully, is aware of. This story came organically but with the insight of the article above I realize that I am writing this specific story for a particular type of girl.

Add to this, after raising my fears about the word count restrictions of this assignment, Nina Milton offered the advice to treat each story as "as 1500 words of a chapter of a book" and a huge weight seemed to come off my shoulders.

I knew whom the first story, the first part of the assignment, was written for or at least the character identifies closely with her, how she was when we were children.

My "implied reader" is my Sister, Barbara. 

She was a tomboy. Fearless in outlook, strong of character, a bender of the rules and she broke a few, but always adventurous. She took life and still takes it on with gusto; there are no areas she considers off limits to her and if there are she questions why and usually breaks down barriers - and yes she does get rewarded with magical events happening to her and her family. 

Quite a revelation to me that I have an implied reader of this kind, so close to home. I kidded myself that I was writing for an imagined child in this instance, someone generic and remote. It again shows me that not only the fictional writing examples are of use but also this helpful collection of articles.

Not sure...flagging or lazy or bubbling?

Each course always has that point where doubts arise and motivation is tested and it's always that point at which you feel the most rewarding happenings happen.

I have been trying to dictate to myself a timetable of effort and this is not working at all. I have slipped. Now, this is not new and if I look through my past posts and courses I could find and examples in each one where the wind has died and I am be-calmed. This time feels like I have imposed it on myself.

The challenge of the Fifth Assignment is it's brevity. Two 1,500 word stories about fantasy and adventure and a little menace resolved by magic. A flood of ideas, flurry of notes (post-its and whole scenes) and a storm of images all predicated from the exercises from the manual. The first story came because of a strange conflagration of events - a television programme about renovating a strange cottage with a tower attached to it (built for a missing grand house for it's Head Gardner's use), a memory of a childhood passion - Sycamore seeds - and a strange little chair seen in a junk-shop. Then I stalled....

I recognized the feeling and after a week of drifting, as I call it, in other words reading a little else, I asked Nina Milton (my Tutor). She was supportive and full of reassuring advice which is always calming. The only thing I began worrying about was whether I was becoming lazy and losing focus on my degree path.

Then a memory came about my seeing a Vicar when I was a child. He scared the hell out of me. I cannot remember the occasion, or what age I was BUT I remember his stillness, the darkness of his robes/attire and the turn of his head around to room to seemingly peer into every corner. It may have been my christening - I was christened late, by most standards, as a Methodist with my Sisters, the youngest of which was a babe in arms; I must have been around four years of age - I had my protagonist. This ran on to a local story about an area called Bincombe Bumps - some burial mounds that local children in the fifties used to say were the realm of a devilish party that could only be heard at midnight on a full moon night. The dichotomy being what child would find themselves on that hill, at that time, away from their parents safe, warm and protective house/home?

Then I remembered the rolling humpy, hillocky field next to our local church, St Anne's. A perfect, scaled down version of the larger Ridgeway Bincombe Bumps......then the bubbling began.

Two days later, I sat down and in the midst of this drifting phase and after plotting out the story, I then moved straight on to write the first third of the second story.Breakthrough! - and more importantly, a lesson in trusting my process.

So, right now I am on a second bubbling phase - because essentially this is not a single assignment, after all it has two parts - while trying to unwind on leave from work for two weeks; trying NOT to get wound up or worrying and above all trusting my process and writing when the bubbling phase has finished.