“It was just like reading a book by a real author.” And “can I have the next (chapter) one please?”

So the five “chapters” came back from the 11 year old son of my colleague.  As he is in the age group of my target audience I was scared to death and excited in a hopeful kind of way. His dictated comments were written out by his mum.

He was enthusiastic and said it “hooks you in and makes you want to solve it”. He said the strange elements were “No cars on the Avenue and the stone not rippling the water” – the latter being the gateway of the mystery.  He and his mum noted that his eight year old brother didn’t think the lack of cars in the Avenue was anything odd. My colleague commented that she thought he was too young for the piece, to pick up on the nuances – it is intended for 9+.

Also the “chanting (Branwen), Aggy as a winged figure”. The latter comment about Aggy being a winged figure brought me up short – I re-read the section and realised that the crow passing over Aggy while she performs a ritual to protect the scene had not been clearly enough described. He had obviously read the words and clamped the two images together – which is very attractive but Aggy is no angel, or winged in anyway. 

He then went on to ask questions and postulate that the only living person was the boy Luan and that all the other characters were dead and the Avenue was possibly the waiting place before passing to the “other side of the curtain”. He is at a Catholic school and describes his ideas with this telling phrase “A bit like St Peter who lets people into heaven.”

He then goes on to equate the tragedy of Adams family being lost as being the event that brings all the characters together. 

I was disappointed that he’d gone down the wrong road (they are all very much living, somewhat) – but my initial feelings dropped away when I realised he was thinking, speculating and using his own knowledge and beliefs to reason out what was happening to Adam. 

He stated that he could close his eyes and see how each character “looked, walked, behaved …imagine each one” and he liked it being so descriptive as this made the story “more eerie”.  He wished me luck with my degree, thanked me and then asked “can I have the next (chapter) one please?”

I was utterly flattered, shocked and pleased that my experiment had been a success. It shows it’s is pitched for the right age group (something my Tutor had stated over and over to me) and had engaged him. It also showed in the 14-15,000 that I needed to refocus the scene where the elements had confused the image of Aggy and the protecting crow in flight over her as a single winged entity. A wonderful learning point.

This opportunity was another organic “happening”, something that just fell into place during the course and I seized it with both hands and held on. I feel so very lucky that I didn’t let my fear turn my back on this. 

My original fears were:-

What if "he" hates it? Phew! He didn’t.

What if it bores him? Phew! It didn’t bore him.

What if they all hate it? Not pitched for the 8 year old but the colleague and the target liked it and want more.

Was it worth all the apprehension? – OH YES!

Will he get the next chapters? Yes.