Too Much – by Tom Allen
The upheaval following the death of a parent, the shifting of the pillars of a Family and certainties of your life can have you overwhelmed; and it can all feel “Too Much”.
It’s 2021 and Tom, celebrated comedian and star of stage and screen has grown up. He’s moved out – not too far - from his parents and, with his partner, has bought a house. His Dad has helped with advice about garden furniture, boiler maintenance and the supply of water softener tablets. Tom and his partner are on holiday when his father dies suddenly. What follows is a memoir of a son snapshotting his relationship with his Dad while trying to negotiate the funeral, the guilt and observations about his beloved etiquette which informs his life and his debut book – No Shame.
He finds solace in a vegetable patch, gardening in unsuitable clothes, the campness of funeral customs and inappropriate footwear. The writing is honest, moving and witty; the love and respect he had for his father, a very different man to himself, is evidence as each anecdote is told with warmth and pathos. He struggles with owning his first home, the growing of vegetables and the shuffling around of the remaining members of the Family; minus one of their pillars. Like any kind of loss, it can never be really resolved, just accepted and Tom does this through his teaching his nephews how to light patchouli candles, the cremation of a Salmon and the growing of potatoes in a competitive way. All this with the bedrock of his Dad’s voice, his obsession with the screen Goddess of his youth Patricia Routledge and the coming to terms with slug elimination.
The last act of the book, the epilogue, I will not describe. It is done in his own voice (you can hear his dry, sardonic delivery) and is the reason he needed an extension to the deadline for this funny, poignant memoir which ends with acceptance and a smile.
