Second day - again check emails, read the news (shaking head), have a look on Face-thingy....
revised what I wrote yesterday and find I have no confidence that it's what the course has asked for but feel attached to the scene I am painting. The uncertainty of what to do next - what to work on, dip into or resurrect - makes me return to Lesleys assessment. I create a new folder and revise each piece working through her suggestions and observations. Two hours pass and I have been working steadily until I get to the last....
There will always be times when you disagree with a tutor and say "no, no, no I didn't mean that!" when what you mean is "I meant this and I haven't communicated it clearly enough for you to see it!" - you are angry with yourself not the tutors reaction to it.
I wrote a piece called The Cat's Meow - about blocking out a sense and what you then experience around you through the remaining senses and thoughts. I have repeated myself which is a pet hate of mine, especially in a prose piece. But Lesley states that the piece is about sound....but it wasn't...it was about sight - or at least an action which you would not do i.e. writing with your eyes closed. The lights are out and I wrote on a page about what I was hearing and feeling, with my eyes shut. The writing is full of sounds, anxiety and culminates with next doors cat (an elderly visitor to our house who seems to still look for my long departed cat) complaining at my side.
I need to revise it and then clarify it with Lesley.
But I feel embarrassed that it worked so badly and a comment that an old colleague used to declare comes back to me - "Better to keeps ones mouth shut and appear a fool, than open your mouth and remove all reasonable doubt!" But in this case I think removing doubt and learning from the mistake is preferable to silence.
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